Korn Hearts Jesus

This is not a joke.

This is not a joke.

Turns out no one is safe from the wrath of Christ. Not even kraptastic 90s “nü metal” band Korn. (Nü Metal? Seriously?)

Most of us unlucky enough to be familiar with this band are probably lucky enough to have forgotten they ever existed. If you’re one of the lucky few who’s unfamiliar because you’ve spent the last 15 years reading born-again Christian biographies and haven’t had the time, then congrats: Your luck’s about to change. Not one, but TWO members of Korn have not only turned to Christ, but decided you’d probably like to read about it. Reginald “Fieldy” Arvizu (Got the Life) and Brian “Head” Welch (Save Me From Myself) have written books about their turns to the light. (Apparently Welch’s book came out a few years ago—clearly I haven’t been keeping up with the evangelical best-seller list the way I should.)

Although I think he gives Korn too much credit, James Parker has already written a solid article about the whole thing for Slate, so I won’t bother. You can read his. My favorite part:

Somewhere Oscar Wilde is smirking: “To drive one nü-metaller into the arms of Christ, Mr. Worthing, may be regarded as a misfortune; to drive two looks like carelessness!”

4 thoughts on “Korn Hearts Jesus

  1. wait, i’m confused… Korn, am i supposed to follow the devil or jesus? just tell me what to do, and i’ll do it. wait, i know, i’ll just stay in step with jesus satan! it’s the best of both worlds, and i hear the parties are excellent! (shut up, TINT.)

  2. @jesus satan
    When you’re reporting on the spiritual frailty of has-beens, you can pick your own post titles. Until then: Suck it, haters.

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